Skip to main content

Slut shaming/Sexual Liberation

What is "slut shaming"?
I define it as attempts to make females feel insecure or bad about their own choices regarding sex, sexuality, sexual preferences and any other related behavior.


Have I been slut shamed?
Yes. By family members and a guy I once had a relationship with. I was super insecure, back then, surrounding my sexual choices because of shaming. I never want a female to go through that shit.
Sex is religion, to some people. It truly is a spiritual act. It connects bodies. It connects energies, too. It is a beautiful thing to share. No one should be forced into it, nor made fun of for choosing it. And when I started having it, I didn't possess this knowledge. Insecure me was seeking something sex couldn't give me. And I sought from a few sources. But I know better, so I do better. And I hope to help other females do better, by teaching them these things. Giving them the tools they need.


I've stated many times, my past experiences have shaped me into the woman I am, today. I am stronger because of it. I have broke pieces, too, because of it.


Slut shaming occurs, in MY opinion, when others cannot control a female. We tend to label things we do not understand. We (people) like to box others in rather than accept them for their choices.


What is a slut?
I don't know. I've asked that question numerous times and have yet to receive an concise, logical answer. If you are a woman who likes sex, you might be labeled a slut. If you've had sex with more than one man, you might be labeled a slut. If you are unmarried and not a virgin, you might be labeled a slut. If you are married and you enjoy sex, you might be labeled a slut.


Women......females are more than a vagina. We are more than incubators. We are diverse beings. We have goals, dreams and aspirations, too. And quite frankly, some of us enjoy sex. Kinky sex. Hot, sweaty sex. Sex with multiple partners. Sex with the same sex. Raunchy, borderline porno sex. Oral sex. Anal sex. And we have every right to own that and not feel ashamed of ourselves.


Am I a sexually liberated woman?
On my personal scale, yes. Anything I have wanted to try, I have tried. But I am still consciously aware of how others might perceive me. Even so, I am not ashamed to enjoy sex. Too many females are taught that enjoying sex is wrong. Immoral. Something only "loose" women do.


I don't promote promiscuity. I do promote knowledge of sex, sex partners history, what pleases oneself. I promote making smart, healthy decisions with sex. Whether you have multiple partners or just one, only do what feels right for YOU. And own that. Be secure in your decisions.
I believe that sexual liberation is not about having numerous sexual partners. It is the ownership and security one possesses around their sexuality. It is releasing yourself from shame, embarrassment, judgment, insecurity related to your sex life. To be sexually liberated is to be free to express yourself in the most sacred way. It's merging the physical and spiritual. It's doing you, however the hell you wanna do you!!! Be safe. Be wise. Be YOU!!


~Nicole



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Seeking God, Finding Myself

I have been on a fervent, spiritual journey for the past seven years. It was only then, I began to know myself-as a person, as a woman. I was 28 years old before I was comfortable enough with myself to begin peeling off layers and allowing my freeness to flow. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am a writer. And I am a sexual being. For so long, the latter was something I suppressed. I wasn’t comfortable enough to speak on that aspect of me. But it’s part of who I am and how I got here-to this place, this space. I grew up Catholic. Sex was to be abstained until marriage, according to our Sunday school lessons. Though people in my family shacked up and had kids out of wedlock-and weren’t looked down upon.  For so long, I masturbated with guilt. Even though the release was wonderful and I enjoyed touching my body, I felt like religion taught me I would be punished for the sin-even though it didn’t involve another being. I use to spew the words “But I’m a Christian”  not knowing w...
Post a Comment
Read more

“In” and “of” the world…

Teaching is my passion. It’s what I will do until I retire. Currently, I teach college students. Most recently, I’ve taught elementary students. I taught at a Catholic school (I grew up Catholic). Religion is a subject I enjoy studying. World religions intrigue me. With that being said, I’ve spent many years trying to get closer to God. That, in itself, is wonderful.  My issue is reconciling the want to be spiritually fulfilled-to seek answers and live in a righteous way-while, simultaneously, trying to convey sexuality and my experience with sex in a tasteful way. In other words, I want to honor God, but I also want to write about the spiritual connection that lies within sex. I wanna tastefully pen sex stories, to be blunt! ☺️ Sex inside of marriage is pleasing to God. It’s encouraged to keep the relationship healthy. Outside of marriage, there is some conflict. I’ll be reading and studying on my own-not taking others’ interpretations of what the word says. It’s just I am an expr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Marriage….. Stuff

 It’s a beautiful day in Georgia, so I decided to sit outside and engage in leisurely activity. Logged into Twitter and came across a post by a male. He was saying how he hopes his sons marry chaste women. Virgins. However, if the non virgins are more aligned, spiritually, (and have repented) than the virgins, he’d be happy for his sons to marry a non virgin. That made me think of spiritual/symbolic marriage. Legal marriages are the norm in this country. When I say the norm, I mean they are the marriages acknowledged by the government and many people. Spiritual/symbolic marriages have existed for a long time. They, however, do not offer the protections or benefits that one gets from legal marriage (binding contract).  This made me think of how symbolic marriages are respected or not respected. Calling yourself “married” because you’re with someone without having a spiritual ceremony is just that-words you use. It allows you to use the term “married” when it’s beneficial to you...
Post a Comment
Read more