Skip to main content

Slut shaming/Sexual Liberation

What is "slut shaming"?
I define it as attempts to make females feel insecure or bad about their own choices regarding sex, sexuality, sexual preferences and any other related behavior.


Have I been slut shamed?
Yes. By family members and a guy I once had a relationship with. I was super insecure, back then, surrounding my sexual choices because of shaming. I never want a female to go through that shit.
Sex is religion, to some people. It truly is a spiritual act. It connects bodies. It connects energies, too. It is a beautiful thing to share. No one should be forced into it, nor made fun of for choosing it. And when I started having it, I didn't possess this knowledge. Insecure me was seeking something sex couldn't give me. And I sought from a few sources. But I know better, so I do better. And I hope to help other females do better, by teaching them these things. Giving them the tools they need.


I've stated many times, my past experiences have shaped me into the woman I am, today. I am stronger because of it. I have broke pieces, too, because of it.


Slut shaming occurs, in MY opinion, when others cannot control a female. We tend to label things we do not understand. We (people) like to box others in rather than accept them for their choices.


What is a slut?
I don't know. I've asked that question numerous times and have yet to receive an concise, logical answer. If you are a woman who likes sex, you might be labeled a slut. If you've had sex with more than one man, you might be labeled a slut. If you are unmarried and not a virgin, you might be labeled a slut. If you are married and you enjoy sex, you might be labeled a slut.


Women......females are more than a vagina. We are more than incubators. We are diverse beings. We have goals, dreams and aspirations, too. And quite frankly, some of us enjoy sex. Kinky sex. Hot, sweaty sex. Sex with multiple partners. Sex with the same sex. Raunchy, borderline porno sex. Oral sex. Anal sex. And we have every right to own that and not feel ashamed of ourselves.


Am I a sexually liberated woman?
On my personal scale, yes. Anything I have wanted to try, I have tried. But I am still consciously aware if how others might perceive me. Even so, I am not ashamed to enjoy sex. Too many females are taught that enjoying sex is wrong. Immoral. Something only "loose" women do.


I don't promote promiscuity. I do promote knowledge of sex, sex partners history, what pleases oneself. I promote making smart, healthy decisions with sex. Whether you have multiple partners or just one, only do what feels right for YOU. And own that. Be secure in your decisions.
I believe that sexual liberation is not about having numerous sexual partners. It is the ownership and security one possesses around their sexuality. It is releasing yourself from shame, embarrassment, judgment, insecurity related to your sex life. To be sexually liberated is to be free to express yourself in the most sacred way. It's merging the physical and spiritual. It's doing you, however the hell you wanna do you!!! Be safe. Be wise. Be YOU!!


~Nicole



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Seeking God, Finding Myself

I have been on a fervent, spiritual journey for the past seven years. It was only then, I began to know myself-as a person, as a woman. I was 28 years old before I was comfortable enough with myself to begin peeling off layers and allowing my freeness to flow. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am a writer. And I am a sexual being. For so long, the latter was something I suppressed. I wasn’t comfortable enough to speak on that aspect of me. But it’s part of who I am and how I got here-to this place, this space. I grew up Catholic. Sex was to be abstained until marriage, according to our Sunday school lessons. Though people in my family shacked up and had kids out of wedlock-and weren’t looked down upon.  For so long, I masturbated with guilt. Even though the release was wonderful and I enjoyed touching my body, I felt like religion taught me I would be punished for the sin-even though it didn’t involve another being. I use to spew the words “But I’m a Christian”  not knowing w...

I AM a mentor.....

We finally had one big group meeting....with all the girls. There are about 35 girls total. I handed out group packets and went over our tentative itinerary. One thing that makes me smile is how, daily, girls ask me "are we meeting today". Knowing that they are excited about being a part of this is humbling and exciting. I want girls to feel safe to share. I want them to bond with each other. To understand how powerful females are and embrace that. And I want them to gather information. See, I never had certain talks with my Mother. Well, I should say, she never had those talks with ME. I learned from experience and ignorance. I'm not upset with my mother. She could only give what she had. Teach from what she knew. All my experiences shaped me into who I am and how I am. I'm very open and expressive and I encourage that with my son and my mentees. I express myself through writing and teaching. I recently read a Maya Angelou book where she stated she found out her call...

Massages: The healing power of human touch.

Today, as I laid on a table with my eyes closed, I silently cried. Today, during a massage, I began to heal. I have always heard how massages are healing. And I believed that,  since I have received massages before. But, today, I truly felt like healing was taking place. My massage therapist was gentle and kind. She oiled and touched my body, working on spots that were filled with tension. Under a dim light, with soft music playing, I closed my eyes and silently cried. I cried because it has been over a year since I last went to a massage parlor. My body was in much discomfort, yet I didn't feel the need to get it massaged. I received multiple signs over the past two days that forced me to realize I NEED this. Human touch can be delicate, sensitive, and is innately craved by all beings. Human touch, itself, has healing powers. You see, so many people don't experience that. The homeless population, the incarcerated, those deemed unlovable. They rarely, if ever, receive human...