Scholars Sanctuary

I have spent the past 5 days reading horror stories of children being abused and murdered at the hands of a parent, step parent, or parent's significant other. I am disturbed, angry, disheartened, heartbroken, and a little hopeless. Adults should protect children. Parents should protect children. It all started when I came across a story about a beautiful girl named Rica Rountree. Rica was abused and murdered by her father's girlfriend. The child had been kicked in her stomach, causing her intestines to tear. Rica died of peritonitis. Her father (Richard Rountree) failed to protect her. He was aware of the abuse and participated, sharing text messages with the girlfriend about how he wished the girl would go somewhere else. He laughed about the abuse in texts and agreed with the girlfriend, Cynthia (Clay) Baker about coaching Rica to lie about how she got her bruises. Though I am happy she was convicted and I hope she gets the maximum in February for sentencing, it is a litt...

I have been on a fervent, spiritual journey for the past seven years. It was only then, I began to know myself-as a person, as a woman. I was 28 years old before I was comfortable enough with myself to begin peeling off layers and allowing my freeness to flow. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am a writer. And I am a sexual being. For so long, the latter was something I suppressed. I wasn’t comfortable enough to speak on that aspect of me. But it’s part of who I am and how I got here-to this place, this space. I grew up Catholic. Sex was to be abstained until marriage, according to our Sunday school lessons. Though people in my family shacked up and had kids out of wedlock-and weren’t looked down upon.  For so long, I masturbated with guilt. Even though the release was wonderful and I enjoyed touching my body, I felt like religion taught me I would be punished for the sin-even though it didn’t involve another being. I use to spew the words “But I’m a Christian”  not knowing w...

There is something absolutely wonderful and beautiful about aging. With age comes knowledge, wisdom, growth. The longer we live and the more we experience, the more knowledgeable we become. Or, at least, that’s how it SHOULD be. I’m 35. I’ll be 36 in November. As I navigate the dating scene, I am almost always met with the question “Do you want to have more kids”? If I (or any woman my age or older) were to conceive a child, it’d be labeled a .......wait for it...... GERIATRIC PREGNANCY. Yes, that is what it’s called when a woman-35+ gets pregnant. I’ll probably still menstruate another 12-15 years, so I shake my head at that term. It’s a reminder of how devalued women of a certain age become.  I’m not a fan of social media . If I didn’t blog/write, I’d not even engage. So I never feel like I’m competing with or trying to keep up with women in their 20’s who post sexual content on their pages for attention or likes. It’s their life and their choice. I just know I’m past that...

“Not Traditionally Attractive” was a phrase I heard a woman use, a few months ago. I cannot remember the exact context in which the phrase was used, but the phrase-itself-has stayed with me. I’m not traditionally attractive. There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t find myself unattractive. I just accept me and my beauty for what and how it is. But this post isn’t about how attractive I am (or not). Though I respect certain traditions and history, I’d say I defy tradition as a whole. If it resonates with me, great. But I don’t fall into the habit of doing things, blindly, just because they’ve always been done. My relationship dynamics are not traditional. Some may label them unorthodox. Some will try to understand. And others will not be open to anything outside the norm. I like to think I’m a free thinker. I’m comfortable outside the box. I take the road less traveled, the off beaten path. Not to be defiant. Just to be true to who I am. Monogamy has never really felt good to me....