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Showing posts from June, 2026

Back to zero

For a long time, I was scared that I would be alone. Scared that I wouldn’t have a functional, healthy relationship with someone. Scared that I’d be lonely, infinitely. I’m not scared anymore. As time passes, I’d rather be alone.  The idea of meeting someone, opening up to them, and getting to know them, is exhausting. I don’t have the energy to give anything to anyone, anymore. I’ve realized that I have given more than I have received. I’m tired. So, I’ve decided to stop treating others better than they treat me. Stop showing up for others when they don’t show up for me. I have lost people I can’t get back, so I care very little when someone chooses to walk out of my life. Go. 🤷🏾‍♀️  I’ve reached the point of zero. Zero fucks to give….etc. I’m at an honest point in my life. I won’t carry anyone else’s problems. I’m not a therapist, so I don’t care about your shit. Tell someone else, not me. We all have shit we are dealing with. I no longer care about the feelings of people ...

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There are moments when I start to feel sorry for myself. I engage in my own “pity party “. Then I am reminded of God’s grace. There are things in my life I cannot take back. No matter how much I atone, I still live with the thoughts and shame of my actions. It’s in those moments I stop feeling bad about my current situation and start to thank God for giving me grace and keeping me out of situations that could have killed or imprisoned me.  A spiritual journey is a personal experience. No one can tell you what that should look like. You just have to walk through it. Mine looks messy. You can read previous posts and see how I am all over the place. Can I truly love God, yet still be “of the world”? Yes, I think so. We don’t live in a bubble and we are not just surrounded by people who share our beliefs. We are of the world. In the world. It’s this place, this space where we CAN reach others. Share our testimony. Fellowship. Does being in the world mean I have to engage in worldly thi...