Scholars Sanctuary

For a long time, I was scared that I would be alone. Scared that I wouldn’t have a functional, healthy relationship with someone. Scared that I’d be lonely, infinitely. I’m not scared anymore. As time passes, I’d rather be alone.  The idea of meeting someone, opening up to them, and getting to know them, is exhausting. I don’t have the energy to give anything to anyone, anymore. I’ve realized that I have given more than I have received. I’m tired. So, I’ve decided to stop treating others better than they treat me. Stop showing up for others when they don’t show up for me. I have lost people I can’t get back, so I care very little when someone chooses to walk out of my life. Go. 🤷🏾‍♀️  I’ve reached the point of zero. Zero ***** to give….etc. I’m at an honest point in my life. I won’t carry anyone else’s problems. I’m not a therapist, so I don’t care about your stuff. Tell someone else, not me. We all have things we are dealing with. I no longer care about the feelings of peop...

There are moments when I start to feel sorry for myself. I engage in my own “pity party “. Then I am reminded of God’s grace. There are things in my life I cannot take back. No matter how much I atone, I still live with the thoughts and shame of my actions. It’s in those moments I stop feeling bad about my current situation and start to thank God for giving me grace and keeping me out of situations that could have killed or imprisoned me.  A spiritual journey is a personal experience. No one can tell you what that should look like. You just have to walk through it. Mine looks messy. You can read previous posts and see how I am all over the place. Can I truly love God, yet still be “of the world”? Yes, I think so. We don’t live in a bubble and we are not just surrounded by people who share our beliefs. We are of the world. In the world. It’s this place, this space where we CAN reach others. Share our testimony. Fellowship. Does being in the world mean I have to engage in worldly thi...

Sex should be a conversation. Couples should have it. Potential partners should have it. Parents and their children should have it. One of our downfalls-as humans- is the lack of communication regarding sex. This is how we end up with high numbers of unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, diseases, and those living with shame surrounding sex. We aren’t talking about it.  One thing I am big on is not shaming teens when dealing with sexual matters. Sex isn’t something to be embarrassed about. Masturbation isn’t something to be embarrassed of. There are healthy ways to engage in this dialogue. But no one should be ashamed of their body having natural feelings or desires. Abortion is a hot topic. I have previously blogged on my thoughts and opinions about this subject and how discussing sex can eliminate the thought of having one or not. Healthy choices involving sex begin with conversations and communication about sex. You can’t just engage in the act without both parties going in with full ...

Stop having children with someone you aren’t married to or wouldn’t want to marry. Let’s normalize this. Part of teaching is sharing knowledge gained through education. Another part is sharing from experiences. In some ways, that experience is far more valuable than something you’ve read in a book.  That’s my goal-to share what I’ve been through and hopefully guide you to make smarter decisions. Co-parenting is a bigger commitment than marriage. Yes, legal marriage ties you to another person, but divorce separates you from that person. Bringing a child into the world is a lifetime commitment. While you can walk away from an ex and not look back (if no kids are involved), creating life with another forces you to maintain some type of connection with one you may want to move on from.  Children are innocent beings who deserve to be raised in love and to be taken care of. If the creators of that child cannot get along, the child suffers. Don't create life with someone you wouldn’t...