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God’s grace

There are moments when I start to feel sorry for myself. I engage in my own “pity party “. Then I am reminded of God’s grace. There are things in my life I cannot take back. No matter how much I atone, I still live with the thoughts and shame of my actions. It’s in those moments I stop feeling bad about my current situation and start to thank God for giving me grace and keeping me out of situations that could have killed or imprisoned me. 

A spiritual journey is a personal experience. No one can tell you what that should look like. You just have to walk through it. Mine looks messy. You can read previous posts and see how I am all over the place. Can I truly love God, yet still be “of the world”? Yes, I think so. We don’t live in a bubble and we are not just surrounded by people who share our beliefs. We are of the world. In the world. It’s this place, this space where we CAN reach others. Share our testimony. Fellowship. Does being in the world mean I have to engage in worldly things? No, I can be in the world and not lose who I am. What I do know is this: My soul yearns to be fed. I want to be surrounded by others on their journey. I want to grow in my faith and commune with believers. Now, I don’t want to just associate with other believers. I’m not trying to join a cult or act like I’m in a cult. I don’t need to hear anyone shouting “Hallelujah” every 5 minutes. But, I do want to engage with others who will assist with my growth-who I can, also, help grow in their beliefs. 

Grace was shown to me when I didn’t ask for it. Grace was shown to me when I feel I didn’t deserve it. Because of that, I want to be better. 

Thank you, God, for everything You have done for me. I am humbled. I am grateful. I am blessed. -Amen

-Nicole Rene

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