Stop having children with someone you aren’t married to or wouldn’t want to marry. Let’s normalize this. Part of teaching is sharing knowledge gained through education. Another part is sharing from experiences. In some ways, that experience is far more valuable than something you’ve read in a book.
That’s my goal-to share what I’ve been through and hopefully guide you to make smarter decisions. Co-parenting is a bigger commitment than marriage. Yes, legal marriage ties you to another person, but divorce separates you from that person. Bringing a child into the world is a lifetime commitment. While you can walk away from an ex and not look back (if no kids are involved), creating life with another forces you to maintain some type of connection with one you may want to move on from.
Children are innocent beings who deserve to be raised in love and to be taken care of. If the creators of that child cannot get along, the child suffers. Don't create life with someone you wouldn’t want to make lifelong decisions with.
I’ll even go as far as saying don’t have sex with someone you wouldn’t want to be married to. That decreases the talk of abortions. To be clear: I don’t think abortions should be illegal. I have logical reasons as to why, but I won’t get into them now. Just because I think women should have access to them doesn’t mean I think women should make reckless choices. If we learn to control our sexual desires, learn to redirect sexual energy, say no, and respect consent- there will be less of a need for abortions and less of a chance that an unplanned/unwanted child will be brought into a chaotic situation. We-in the previous statement-covers men and women. Taking into account the full totality of our decisions can help us make more informed decisions.
Parenting is a two-party job, not one. If we view it from that standpoint, we would never allow ourselves to be in a position where we go at it alone. Looking at the current state of the world and seeing how childhood affects our choices as young and older adults, we should definitely choose wisely.
Let’s normalize having genuine conversations in relationships. Let’s normalize relationships and not fuck friend/hookup culture. Let’s normalize making wise decisions with whom we share ourselves with-emotionally and physically.
-NR
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