Skip to main content

Elements of Sex.....

Every now and then, my viewpoint on certain topics shifts. I refer to that as growth or change of perspective. Either way, I use it as a teachable moment.

I've tweeted and blogged about sex, sometimes, in a laissez faire way. While I am no prude on sexual matters, I do believe one way to empower others is to arm them with facts and realizations.

Sex is as emotional as it is physical, though the physical consequences can be more permanent. Severe. Sexually transmitted diseases exist. Unplanned and unwanted pregnancies occur. Carrying the weight of multiple partners, in your spirit, and engaging in insane behavior of sex and being unfulfilled is real.

It's fine and important to abstain or be celibate during periods of your life. Take that time and get to know yourself-who you are and what you want.

And while I support the right for sex workers to make a living, I must stress that being a sex worker (voluntary) and being a victim of the sex industry  (trafficking victim, forced prostitution, coerced or doing any sexual acts against one's will-where someone else, most likely, profits) are not the same thing. We must separate the two and protect those who fall into the category of the latter.

I am disheartened at the amount of boys, girls, and women whose bodies are treated as commodities. Who have no control or choice over their situation. Who don't have the esteem or tools to break away from their situations. Who have been written off and discarded. We have to care. We have to speak about it. We have to help.

So, I've said all this to say our bodies and minds deserve to be treated with respect. By others and by ourselves. Sex is everywhere. It's in your face on television, radio, magazines. I don't think that will change. But we can always alter our perception and control the impact we allow sex to have in our lives. It is to be enjoyed. But we must be able to sleep and live with ourselves, after our choices.

Nicole Rene

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Failure to Protect

I have spent the past 5 days reading horror stories of children being abused and murdered at the hands of a parent, step parent, or parent's significant other. I am disturbed, angry, disheartened, heartbroken, and a little hopeless. Adults should protect children. Parents should protect children. It all started when I came across a story about a beautiful girl named Rica Rountree. Rica was abused and murdered by her father's girlfriend. The child had been kicked in her stomach, causing her intestines to tear. Rica died of peritonitis. Her father (Richard Rountree) failed to protect her. He was aware of the abuse and participated, sharing text messages with the girlfriend about how he wished the girl would go somewhere else. He laughed about the abuse in texts and agreed with the girlfriend, Cynthia (Clay) Baker about coaching Rica to lie about how she got her bruises. Though I am happy she was convicted and I hope she gets the maximum in February for sentencing, it is a litt...

Seeking God, Finding Myself

I have been on a fervent, spiritual journey for the past seven years. It was only then, I began to know myself-as a person, as a woman. I was 28 years old before I was comfortable enough with myself to begin peeling off layers and allowing my freeness to flow. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am a writer. And I am a sexual being. For so long, the latter was something I suppressed. I wasn’t comfortable enough to speak on that aspect of me. But it’s part of who I am and how I got here-to this place, this space. I grew up Catholic. Sex was to be abstained until marriage, according to our Sunday school lessons. Though people in my family shacked up and had kids out of wedlock-and weren’t looked down upon.  For so long, I masturbated with guilt. Even though the release was wonderful and I enjoyed touching my body, I felt like religion taught me I would be punished for the sin-even though it didn’t involve another being. I use to spew the words “But I’m a Christian”  not knowing w...

Marriage….. Stuff

 It’s a beautiful day in Georgia, so I decided to sit outside and engage in leisurely activity. Logged into Twitter and came across a post by a male. He was saying how he hopes his sons marry chaste women. Virgins. However, if the non virgins are more aligned, spiritually, (and have repented) than the virgins, he’d be happy for his sons to marry a non virgin. That made me think of spiritual/symbolic marriage. Legal marriages are the norm in this country. When I say the norm, I mean they are the marriages acknowledged by the government and many people. Spiritual/symbolic marriages have existed for a long time. They, however, do not offer the protections or benefits that one gets from legal marriage (binding contract).  This made me think of how symbolic marriages are respected or not respected. Calling yourself “married” because you’re with someone without having a spiritual ceremony is just that-words you use. It allows you to use the term “married” when it’s beneficial to you...