Scholars Sanctuary

When you have a job, career, that you love, you don't seek employment elsewhere. But if you are unsure of your status at your current place of employment, if you are unhappy, or if you are seeking/ready for a change, you may find yourself looking for another job. And if opportunity comes to you, you will probably consider taking another offer. I use that analogy because it's the same with relationships. We (Western civilization) have an issue with relationships. We are conditioned to think that jealousy and possession is normal and acceptable. It's not. Before I go further, let me be real clear..... I think we all should have the right to design our own relationships-free of judgment. As long as our relationship isn't hurting another person or taking advantage of another, we should be free to create a situation that we want to be in. I have struggles with understanding the hype around monogamy. But I am not on the polyamory or polygamy bandwagon, either. There is no o...

I have been on a fervent, spiritual journey for the past seven years. It was only then, I began to know myself-as a person, as a woman. I was 28 years old before I was comfortable enough with myself to begin peeling off layers and allowing my freeness to flow. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am a writer. And I am a sexual being. For so long, the latter was something I suppressed. I wasn’t comfortable enough to speak on that aspect of me. But it’s part of who I am and how I got here-to this place, this space. I grew up Catholic. Sex was to be abstained until marriage, according to our Sunday school lessons. Though people in my family shacked up and had kids out of wedlock-and weren’t looked down upon.  For so long, I masturbated with guilt. Even though the release was wonderful and I enjoyed touching my body, I felt like religion taught me I would be punished for the sin-even though it didn’t involve another being. I use to spew the words “But I’m a Christian”  not knowing w...

“Not Traditionally Attractive” was a phrase I heard a woman use, a few months ago. I cannot remember the exact context in which the phrase was used, but the phrase-itself-has stayed with me. I’m not traditionally attractive. There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t find myself unattractive. I just accept me and my beauty for what and how it is. But this post isn’t about how attractive I am (or not). Though I respect certain traditions and history, I’d say I defy tradition as a whole. If it resonates with me, great. But I don’t fall into the habit of doing things, blindly, just because they’ve always been done. My relationship dynamics are not traditional. Some may label them unorthodox. Some will try to understand. And others will not be open to anything outside the norm. I like to think I’m a free thinker. I’m comfortable outside the box. I take the road less traveled, the off beaten path. Not to be defiant. Just to be true to who I am. Monogamy has never really felt good to me....