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Death….the ugly side….

 My father died, a month ago (2/12/25). I am not doing well. I was with him in the hospital room. It was not a quiet, just slipped away-type of death. Besides me, there were about 8 or 9 hospital staff members in the room, working on him. I lied. Eight or nine weren’t working on him. About 4 were actively working, the rest were just….there. 

When I’m up to it, I’ll blog about the horrible experience at Piedmont Eastside Hospital-Snellville, GA. The two doctors that made me HATE that hospital. That’s where he died. 

I’m from Louisiana, but I live in Ga. My father lives in-lived in Louisiana. He’s a widower, as my mom passed in 2016 (05/24/16). He was with her, in the hospital, when she died. They had been together for 40 years. Nine months prior, (09/05/2015) my 38 year old brother died. They grieved that lost. Mom never really recovered. She had lost two brothers in 2014. One in January and one in December. We began 2014 and 2015 with funerals. 

Anyway, my dad visits Ga and stays for weeks-sometimes two months. He was feeling ill but nothing too serious. On 1/31/25 at about 6:00a.m, I called 911 because he fell in the bathroom. My son’s room was across from his. We both heard the fall. My son ran to my room and said my dad had collapsed. When 911 got there-18 minutes later-he was up, back in his bed, and didn’t want to go to the hospital. I spent the rest of the day scared. He told me the next day that he vomited in his floor. He said he didn’t hit his head. While he went downstairs to watch tv, I cleaned his carpet, bathroom, bed linens, and aired out his room. I thought the fresh air would help. Nine days later-Super Bowl Sunday, he was feeling dizzy. My sister urged him to go to urgent care. He asked if they’d keep him overnight. We said “no”. From urgent care, we went straight to the ER. He was suffering from syncope. My dad had pneumonia and tumors on his brain that spread to the lungs and spleen. Three days later, he passed away. 

My sister, son, and I were consistently in the hospital with him-except for the non-visiting hours in ICU. At 11:00 Monday night, he was downgraded to a regular room. I relieved my sister on Tuesday at noon and stayed the whole night. Wednesday morning we went downstairs for a thoracentesis -draining of fluid from lungs. I signed consent and the nurses and doctor were friendly and made him comfortable. I gave him a kiss, said “I love you and will see you upstairs.” An hour later, his bed was rolled back into the room. His breathing was off and he was sweating. I informed the nurse, who was already in the room changing fluids or updating his chart. She calmly walked out and returned with 8 or 9 people. His doctor asked if he was in pain or having trouble breathing. He said “no” but his oxygen was dropping. They called a code blue and I left the room to call my sister. 

I can’t unsee what I saw. I feel like I should have held his hand. Did bringing him to the hospital cause his death? Would he still be alive if he were here (at my house)? Does he feel like we failed him? Did bringing him break his spirit? I’m glad I spent the night. Glad he didn’t die alone. So many unanswered questions. Still no definitive cause of death. Waiting on death certificate. Was told in hospital he got a blood clot, which caused cardiac arrest. I want answers. I want peace. I hope he knows how loved and respected he was-not just by us (kids) but by so many people in our community, the churches, his friends, siblings, nieces and nephews. His neighbors, too. 

I know on the other side of grief lies happier times. Peace. Solace. I’m not there, yet. I’ll get there. I’ve been here before.

I love you, Sir, for all you were to us. Thank you for loving us, caring for us, providing for us, protecting us, loving our mom…all your siblings and family, and for being a man of God. You didn’t have to say it, you lived and it showed through your actions.

Isaac Smith Jr. Army veteran. Father, grandfather, great grandfather, brother, uncle, cousin, neighbor, community member, and friend. Gone but will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!!

https://www.youtube.com/live/PvIu50_aXV0?si=GyqtJqz5FRgUgJ_f

Funeral Service

https://www.dembyandson.com/obituaries/Isaac-Smith-Jr?obId=37332088&utm_campaign=marquee-share-button&utm_term=copy-link&utm_content=cro-1186-v1#/obituaryInfo

Obituary 

-Nicole Rene

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