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More than love

Marriage is a piece of paper. Marriage is a contract-like a business arrangement. Marriage is a commitment between two people. Marriage is becoming one with another person. Yep, it’s all of that stuff. It shouldn’t be entered into lightly.  I teach criminology. Sometimes, our discussions contain issues that relate to modern society. For example: We discussed “body count”/promiscuity and how it correlates to criminal behavior. If one lacks discipline and self control, they are more likely to engage in risky and/or violent behavior. I remember telling my students to marry someone who shares the same or similar goals. Marry someone who will complement you. Someone who pushes you to grow, to better yourself. Love is fine, but there has to be more to sustain a marriage than “we love each other”. How many couples are stagnant-how many individuals in marriages are stagnant because they aren’t allowing themselves to grow-because they don’t want to outgrow their partner? Love is fine, but d...
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Recent posts

Intimate things…

Sex is such a beautiful act. It’s being naked-physically and emotionally. It is the closest two people can get. The anticipation of being with someone in that way can conjure up greater excitement than the actual experience. To be intimate with another…..to share yourself….it should be treated as something very special.  My love languages are “acts of service” and “physical touch”. I enjoy doing kind things for those I love. I also enjoy physically being in the presence of the one I love. Kissing. Touching. Being held. Cuddling. All those fall under the umbrella of intimacy. There’s an awareness of vulnerability that resides in being intimate. Essentially, you are allowing another into your safe space. Being open to love also means being open to hurt. Joy and pain. The risk is worth it. All or nothing.  As I write this, I find myself holding back what I really want to say. I guess I’m not as naked as I thought I was. 😉 The idea of being that way with another….again… is exciti...
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“In” and “of” the world…

Teaching is my passion. It’s what I will do until I retire. Currently, I teach college students. Most recently, I’ve taught elementary students. I taught at a Catholic school (I grew up Catholic). Religion is a subject I enjoy studying. World religions intrigue me. With that being said, I’ve spent many years trying to get closer to God. That, in itself, is wonderful.  My issue is reconciling the want to be spiritually fulfilled-to seek answers and live in a righteous way-while, simultaneously, trying to convey sexuality and my experience with sex in a tasteful way. In other words, I want to honor God, but I also want to write about the spiritual connection that lies within sex. I wanna tastefully pen sex stories, to be blunt! ☺️ Sex inside of marriage is pleasing to God. It’s encouraged to keep the relationship healthy. Outside of marriage, there is some conflict. I’ll be reading and studying on my own-not taking others’ interpretations of what the word says. It’s just I am an expr...
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Death….the ugly side….

 My father died, a month ago (2/12/25). I am not doing well. I was with him in the hospital room. It was not a quiet, just slipped away-type of death. Besides me, there were about 8 or 9 hospital staff members in the room, working on him. I lied. Eight or nine weren’t working on him. About 4 were actively working, the rest were just….there.  When I’m up to it, I’ll blog about the horrible experience at Piedmont Eastside Hospital-Snellville, GA. The two doctors that made me HATE that hospital. That’s where he died.  I’m from Louisiana, but I live in Ga. My father lives in-lived in Louisiana. He’s a widower, as my mom passed in 2016 (05/24/16). He was with her, in the hospital, when she died. They had been together for 40 years. Nine months prior, (09/05/2015) my 38 year old brother died. They grieved that lost. Mom never really recovered. She had lost two brothers in 2014. One in January and one in December. We began 2014 and 2015 with funerals.  Anyway, my dad visits...
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Marriage….. Stuff

 It’s a beautiful day in Georgia, so I decided to sit outside and engage in leisurely activity. Logged into Twitter and came across a post by a male. He was saying how he hopes his sons marry chaste women. Virgins. However, if the non virgins are more aligned, spiritually, (and have repented) than the virgins, he’d be happy for his sons to marry a non virgin. That made me think of spiritual/symbolic marriage. Legal marriages are the norm in this country. When I say the norm, I mean they are the marriages acknowledged by the government and many people. Spiritual/symbolic marriages have existed for a long time. They, however, do not offer the protections or benefits that one gets from legal marriage (binding contract).  This made me think of how symbolic marriages are respected or not respected. Calling yourself “married” because you’re with someone without having a spiritual ceremony is just that-words you use. It allows you to use the term “married” when it’s beneficial to you...
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Single…..With Child(ren)

 It’s okay to be single. I repeat: IT IS OKAY TO BE SINGLE. I haven’t written in a while. Covid and its aftermath kind of drained me. Since my last post, my son graduated high school. That was a year ago. A few months ago, I was just thinking about how I’m glad I didn’t cohabitate with any man while my kid was still in school. There’s nothing wrong with dating, wanting to date, having a relationship, or getting married to a partner that is not the other parent of your kid(s). For me, though, I think I made the right choice.  New relationships don’t just affect YOU. Your whole household dynamic changes. With women, sometimes we get so caught up “in love” and wanting to create a family that we overlook certain things or don’t pay attention to things taking place with our children. I’m not just speaking of abuse, I mean little things like having to put on actual clothes to leave out of their room. Having to possibly share a bedroom/bathroom with others. Not having one-on-one time...
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Is there more?

 I’ve seen the movie “For Colored Girls” numerous times. I have it on DVD. I watch it often. Every viewing brings life to a line of poetry I hadn’t heard before. “There’s always something more”-a line one character said to another. The receiving character was a single, promiscuous woman, using sex to fill an unnameable void. There is a root cause-a reason she has so many lovers. She hasn’t taken the time to understand the “why”.  I haven’t taken time to understand my “why”. Partly because I never thought there was a plausible “why”. Partly because I am scared of what I’ll find. I don’t know that I can have intimacy without it being a sexual thing. Let me clarify: I want to be held, intimate, to be “one”, but not necessarily be sexual to be “one”.I want that to come, just when it’s time and not rushed.  Let me do a flashback. The movie “For Colored Girls” is based on a choreopoem by Ntozake Shange, called “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide, When the Rainbow is ...
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