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Shameless Masturbation!!

Masturbation is a topic many don't feel comfortable talking about, despite how many people actually pleasure themselves.

I remember being a student at UHCL in 2007 and I said to my English class "Masturbation is the key to a successful sex life. If you can't please you, how can you expect someone else to?" I still believe those words.

Women masturbate. We use our fingers or sex toys. That is perfectly healthy. We should be in touch with our bodies. We should know how to bring ourselves to orgasm. Think of how many women are dissatisfied and sexually frustrated because they aren't being pleased down there! Child please! Touch your body and get to know YOU!

I first discovered pleasure down there when I was 10. I hurt myself on my bicycle seat- a banana seat- and I told my mom. She, innocently, said "go put some Vaseline on it", which was very common to do and say. Oh, the discovery!!

But I never talked to anyone about it. Matter of fact, I was ashamed. Religious conditioning had me believing I was doing something wrong. I would negotiate during prayers by offering to NOT masturbate if I received what I prayed for. And, unfortunately, extreme religious conditioning and beliefs cause females all across the globe to have their clitoris removed. That's called FGM-female genital mutilation. It's done so women cannot pleasure themselves and when they marry, their husbands and families know they are a virgin. It is a horrible practice that, though illegal in most places, still happens and females die or have many issues in their space due to it. And I can't imagine the emotional scarring that occurs because of it.

So we have to support our girls. Our women. We have to take away the stigma of masturbation being something "loose" and "unholy" women do. I remember reading a book by an African American female Evangelist and she spoke on a time when she was heavily into sex and masturbation. She was, once "saved", appalled at how gross masturbation was. Her argument was how you allow yourselves to have impure thoughts and sometimes those thoughts are outrageous. So what? Can I not have  my thoughts to myself. And thoughts and actions are not the same.

I like touching myself. In my head, I can have sex any kind of way I choose to.I can think of the most salacious things to make myself cum. And that is my damn business. Self pleasure is safe. And fun!!

And I like when a partner touches me down there, too. FYI- just make sure only clean hands are playing down there, as you don't wanna get an infection.

Sex with male partners almost always ends with them being satisfied and the woman not quite. Communication is a key factor in both partners being pleased.

So, yeah, I encourage women to know thy self. Self pleasure is an awakening. It feels good and teaches you so much about your needs and desires.

~Nicole

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