I vaguely remember taking a "sex education" course, in Middle School. It was 6th or 7th grade. I remember being in the classroom. Giggling at uncomfortable words. But I cannot recall anything learned, that day.
We probably talked about menstruation -periods. I hadn't had mine, yet. (When I did, I was 12, it was the Summer before I began 8th grade ...my birthday is late....November). I think we were combined- boys and girls in that space. And I am pretty sure that made most of us prepubescent schoolchildren awkwardly uncomfortable.
Sex Education courses serve a good purpose. Overall, the intention is to give information about things our bodies go through. Hormones, puberty, arousal. How babies are made. But most sex ed classes are standard classes. In this age, there are many people who consider themselves"sexperts"- experts of all things sex. They can tell you how to get pregnant. How to NOT get pregnant. How to have an orgasm. How to stretch an orgasm. How to self pleasure. Different or "alternative" types of sex one can engage in. (The days missionary style sex are so 19th century.) But I digress. Sex ed classes give the basic information needed to get through the hour or few hours session. But one thing I wish sex ed classes could and would touch are the psychological and emotional effects of sex.
Engaging sexually with another person is more than a physical act. It's emotional. Spiritual. It's a connection deeper than what can be seen. The term "sex ties" is accurate. Though you may physically move on or disconnect from a person, two people engaging in that way....the exchange of bodily fluids is a deep connection. In another blog, I'll break down the lingering of spirits and how to cleanse yourself of those spirits.
Sex is beautiful. It's fucking awesome, to be quite honest. It feels good. Keeps you wanting more. You'll crave it. Think about it. Fantasize about it. Your body will want it. All that is good. But be careful with yourself. Be careful with whom you share yourself with. Your body is your temple. Be wise about it. Diseases are out there. You can't look at a person and know whether they are infected. Pregnancy is real, too. If you decide to go through with it, your life changes. I'd you decide to give the baby up for adoption, your life changes. If you have an abortion, your life changes. All those things have lasting, unimaginable effects. Be wise.
Emotional effects last long, too. You gotta make sure you are mature enough to handle it. Hell, at age 32, I still feel the sting of shit I did years ago. Your first IS your first. There's no going back. No changing that. No "do overs". Make sure when you do decide to take that step, you are ready. Don't jump into it just to get the feel of sex. Be with someone you have feelings for. Someone you like. Experience and liberation comes with time and age. Be tender with yourself. Make sure he is worth it. Sex can happen today and you can be ignored tomorrow or slut shamed. Or it can happen today and y'all stay together. You don't feel ashamed or regret. Or yall aren't together but you feel okay about that. Even if yall weren't in a relationship, you'd still be okay with each other.
So, yeah, the gist of sex is a physical, beautiful act. But take care of your emotional and spiritual side. Needs. Make sure you look out for those unseen parts of you.
~Nicole
We probably talked about menstruation -periods. I hadn't had mine, yet. (When I did, I was 12, it was the Summer before I began 8th grade ...my birthday is late....November). I think we were combined- boys and girls in that space. And I am pretty sure that made most of us prepubescent schoolchildren awkwardly uncomfortable.
Sex Education courses serve a good purpose. Overall, the intention is to give information about things our bodies go through. Hormones, puberty, arousal. How babies are made. But most sex ed classes are standard classes. In this age, there are many people who consider themselves"sexperts"- experts of all things sex. They can tell you how to get pregnant. How to NOT get pregnant. How to have an orgasm. How to stretch an orgasm. How to self pleasure. Different or "alternative" types of sex one can engage in. (The days missionary style sex are so 19th century.) But I digress. Sex ed classes give the basic information needed to get through the hour or few hours session. But one thing I wish sex ed classes could and would touch are the psychological and emotional effects of sex.
Engaging sexually with another person is more than a physical act. It's emotional. Spiritual. It's a connection deeper than what can be seen. The term "sex ties" is accurate. Though you may physically move on or disconnect from a person, two people engaging in that way....the exchange of bodily fluids is a deep connection. In another blog, I'll break down the lingering of spirits and how to cleanse yourself of those spirits.
Sex is beautiful. It's fucking awesome, to be quite honest. It feels good. Keeps you wanting more. You'll crave it. Think about it. Fantasize about it. Your body will want it. All that is good. But be careful with yourself. Be careful with whom you share yourself with. Your body is your temple. Be wise about it. Diseases are out there. You can't look at a person and know whether they are infected. Pregnancy is real, too. If you decide to go through with it, your life changes. I'd you decide to give the baby up for adoption, your life changes. If you have an abortion, your life changes. All those things have lasting, unimaginable effects. Be wise.
Emotional effects last long, too. You gotta make sure you are mature enough to handle it. Hell, at age 32, I still feel the sting of shit I did years ago. Your first IS your first. There's no going back. No changing that. No "do overs". Make sure when you do decide to take that step, you are ready. Don't jump into it just to get the feel of sex. Be with someone you have feelings for. Someone you like. Experience and liberation comes with time and age. Be tender with yourself. Make sure he is worth it. Sex can happen today and you can be ignored tomorrow or slut shamed. Or it can happen today and y'all stay together. You don't feel ashamed or regret. Or yall aren't together but you feel okay about that. Even if yall weren't in a relationship, you'd still be okay with each other.
So, yeah, the gist of sex is a physical, beautiful act. But take care of your emotional and spiritual side. Needs. Make sure you look out for those unseen parts of you.
~Nicole
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