Scholars Sanctuary

I attended a lovely dinner with some lovely ladies, a few months ago. We ate, laughed, caught up, and drank! And we talked. Out of the group of ladies, two of us were unmarried. And of the two of us, one of us has never been married. The question was asked, to me, if I would like to be married one day. Yes, I would. Fast forward three months later. I was back in New Orleans and enjoyed another lovely night of drinks, food, and convo at the same restaurant-with a different group of friends. One couple and one half of a couple. I shared with them the question that had been on my mind for months and my desire to be married, someday. I shared why, too. There was a time when women wanted to be wives. Nowadays, it seems as being a wife is not as sought as being a "friend" or "side piece". Wife is a word that was respected. Women who were wives were respected. And, in many aspects, it is still that way. There is nothing wrong with being single. But there is nothing wron

I have come to a realization: I use to be a horrible person. And I am trying not to cry as I write this. I have hurt others because I was a hurt person. Broken. But I had no idea, at the time. There are people I need to make amends with. Not because I need them to accept my forgiveness so I can feel better. Because I hurt them, not purposely, and I carry the weight of being responsible for creating a cycle. Forgiveness is not something anyone has to give. Seeking forgiveness should only come once one realizes the damage they have caused to another or others. I carry the burden of what I have done. That, alone, is mine. And I must do the work to heal within myself. Once I became aware of how horrible I was, I cried. All night and all the next morning. People may forget words, but actions, what you do to them, that can be unforgettable. In some cases, that can be hard to live with. This post is to bring awareness to anyone who may be causing hurt or pain to another. And if you know

Every now and then, my viewpoint on certain topics shifts. I refer to that as growth or change of perspective. Either way, I use it as a teachable moment. I've tweeted and blogged about sex, sometimes, in a laissez faire way. While I am no prude on sexual matters, I do believe one way to empower others is to arm them with facts and realizations. Sex is as emotional as it is physical, though the physical consequences can be more permanent. Severe. Sexually transmitted diseases exist. Unplanned and unwanted pregnancies occur. Carrying the weight of multiple partners, in your spirit, and engaging in insane behavior of sex and being unfulfilled is real. It's fine and important to abstain or be celibate during periods of your life. Take that time and get to know yourself-who you are and what you want. And while I support the right for sex workers to make a living, I must stress that being a sex worker (voluntary) and being a victim of the sex industry  (trafficking victim, f