Scholars Sanctuary

You and I have never met, never talked, and we've never even spoken. But we have something in common. Something we share: We both love the same man. I never have and will not apologize for how I feel. I love who I love. And my feelings for him are mine to own. My loving him doesn't take away from how you feel about him. Nor is it a threat to your relationship. But I won't ever deny allowing myself my truth. Women are taught, from a young age, that we are competing against each other. That is as sad as it is disheartening. There is no shortage of love. And there is nothing wrong with two people loving the same, one, person. But we live in a pro monogamous world, so anything "other" is frowned upon. And because I love him, I can let go of any selfish desires. I truly hope he is happy and safe. And I hope you treat him well, as I hope he does the same with you. I hope you never see me as the enemy. Never think of me as someone who has a hidden agenda. And unt

You have probably heard the term "Sisterhood".  For some women, it is the bond shared between women. It's designed for women to treat each other as you would treat your own blood sister-under the notion that you actually LIKE your blood sister!! I use to hate that term and it was so cliché when I heard it. But growth has allowed me to understand and appreciate it. And I understand and appreciate the power we hold, as women. Imagine harnessing that power, collectively! In polygamous relationships, the term is the bond the "wives" share with each other. In the U.S., polygamy is illegal, so these women are spiritually married to the same man. Ideally, he provides for each of the women the same. And though there may be conflict, occasionally, the women-overall-work together for the good of the family. However, there are polygamous families where the women do not live together and do not even get along-even though they know of/about each other. Kind of like "I

Today, as I laid on a table with my eyes closed, I silently cried. Today, during a massage, I began to heal. I have always heard how massages are healing. And I believed that,  since I have received massages before. But, today, I truly felt like healing was taking place. My massage therapist was gentle and kind. She oiled and touched my body, working on spots that were filled with tension. Under a dim light, with soft music playing, I closed my eyes and silently cried. I cried because it has been over a year since I last went to a massage parlor. My body was in much discomfort, yet I didn't feel the need to get it massaged. I received multiple signs over the past two days that forced me to realize I NEED this. Human touch can be delicate, sensitive, and is innately craved by all beings. Human touch, itself, has healing powers. You see, so many people don't experience that. The homeless population, the incarcerated, those deemed unlovable. They rarely, if ever, receive human

I write in hopes of helping SOMEONE. I use my "voice" because someone out there needs to "hear" what I am saying. And I write to help myself, heal. I'll be perfectly honest... I am a mess. I have broken parts. Scars. Hurts. Grief. I'm human. Many of us carry these things. The key is to work through it. I say, pretty often, "do the work". It's easy to roll off my tongue. Not so easy to put into practice. Doing the work means actually peeling back those layers we have buried under some mundane task or filler. To do the work requires us to look WITHIN. Point out our OWN flaws and mess. THEN work on it. Work through every emotion that is brought  (back) to the surface. Work through what we suppressed and depressed. And that, my friends, is not easy. Writing is my outlet. It has saved me many times. There are journals and papers that hold secrets I am ashamed to tell. Emotions I swam deeply in. Feelings I don't ever want to feel again. T

It has taken me a minute..... a few days, actually, to gather my thoughts and deliver this post in a way it's intended. I spend plenty time telling young ladies to embrace womanhood, femininity, whatever gives you confidence and makes you feel beautiful and strong. If that's your sexuality, great, embrace that. But I am also aware to let ladies know your sexuality is YOURS. You own it, no one else does. But always be conscious about your decisions, be aware, be careful with your body, your heart, your self. Period. So I took a little getaway, two weeks ago. And I saw someone who was a friend, long ago, who I have been in constant contact with over the past 10+ years. We sat and talked, in a public place, for about an hour or two. We talked about different relationship dynamics and other stuff. I was telling him I had been in a polyamorous and polygynous Facebook group, although I don't identify as either. His comment was "so basically you're a freak". Umm