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Broken wings can heal.

I write in hopes of helping SOMEONE.
I use my "voice" because someone out there needs to "hear" what I am saying.

And I write to help myself, heal.
I'll be perfectly honest... I am a mess. I have broken parts. Scars. Hurts. Grief. I'm human. Many of us carry these things. The key is to work through it. I say, pretty often, "do the work". It's easy to roll off my tongue. Not so easy to put into practice.

Doing the work means actually peeling back those layers we have buried under some mundane task or filler. To do the work requires us to look WITHIN. Point out our OWN flaws and mess. THEN work on it. Work through every emotion that is brought  (back) to the surface. Work through what we suppressed and depressed. And that, my friends, is not easy.

Writing is my outlet. It has saved me many times. There are journals and papers that hold secrets I am ashamed to tell. Emotions I swam deeply in. Feelings I don't ever want to feel again. There were times my tears flowed freely & uncontrollably. Paper and pen conveyed the innermost thoughts of my heart. When I couldn't speak, I could write. Still, I write.

I feel insecure, sometimes.

I cry with pain, from the loss of my mother and brother. When my brother first died, I spent many weeks wondering if I could have done something. That'll be a blog post, itself.

Loneliness, as a lifestyle, scares the hell out of me.

I wonder if I will ever RECEIVE and am I capable of receiving love.

I enjoy my alone time. Independence. But I crave connections. I love sharing parts of me and I love when another is comfortable sharing their parts with me.

I have hurt others (and asked for universal forgiveness for those I no longer have contact with or don't know were hurt by me). I have been hurt and am working on forgiving those, whether they seek it or not.

I am learning to let go and allow room for that which is FOR me to move into that space.

I get frustrated. I yell out of fear. I'm working on that.

So, yeah, don't read this blog and think I have all or most of the answers. I definitely do not. But I have life experiences and bags of lessons to offer you.

With love,

Nicole Rene


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