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Atonement: Sorry Might Not Be Enough

I have come to a realization: I use to be a horrible person. And I am trying not to cry as I write this. I have hurt others because I was a hurt person. Broken. But I had no idea, at the time.

There are people I need to make amends with. Not because I need them to accept my forgiveness so I can feel better. Because I hurt them, not purposely, and I carry the weight of being responsible for creating a cycle. Forgiveness is not something anyone has to give. Seeking forgiveness should only come once one realizes the damage they have caused to another or others.

I carry the burden of what I have done. That, alone, is mine. And I must do the work to heal within myself. Once I became aware of how horrible I was, I cried. All night and all the next morning. People may forget words, but actions, what you do to them, that can be unforgettable. In some cases, that can be hard to live with.

This post is to bring awareness to anyone who may be causing hurt or pain to another. And if you know someone causing hurt, tell them. They may be unaware of their infliction of pain upon another. Broken people break other people. That's how cycles are created.

Now that I am aware, I can begin to atone. Apologize and seek forgiveness. But most importantly, I can spread awareness. When you know better, you do better. In my book, I'll be more open about who I hurt and how I started the process of forgiving myself and asking for it.

True apologies take courage. They may be met with rejection or anger. Still, do it. Someone may really need to hear you admit you were wrong.

For anyone I hurt, I AM SORRY!

~Nicole Rene

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