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Touch me.......there

I have been thinking about the healing power of human touch. I blogged on this about two years ago. Let’s go a little deeper.

I have pelvic pressure. It’s not pain, just pressure I feel in that area. It’s a discomfort but bearable. So I’ve been looking into receiving a yoni massage. Yoni is just another word for female genitalia-vagina. It means “sacred space” or something equivalent. Yoni massages are intended to heal trauma that may be associated with that area. They can be used for other reasons, but that would be MY main reason for having one. And I wouldn’t mind being touched, again!

Some women receive yoni massages because they have blockage from sexual trauma, such as rape, molestation, or not being able to reach orgasm with a partner-or even alone. I’ll say this: Massage therapists are wonderful healers. They relieve your body of pain and discomfort. They, also, allow you the space to silently heal, on the table. Many professions have taken on the role of therapist or counselor, and we must appreciate their insight or input or listening ear. I said that to say that yoni massage therapists can help heal. And as in every walk of life, not everyone is out to do good. Be cautious and do your research.

Anyways, I have blockage and I would like that pathway to be cleared. And I was thinking how women have blockage and don’t know or understand what is even going on down there. We all have some form of social conditioning. Many people grow up saying “no” to sex but not understanding why. Some are taught that sex is only for marriage. We’ve heard that women who enjoy or engage in sex are loose. There are so many things we have heard that negatively impact our relationship with sex and our bodies. And we have no idea we are traumatized, let  alone we carry that trauma in our genitalia.

Women need to know how to communicate to our partner(s) what we want. But first we must figure out what we need from sex. Why are we engaging? To bond? To experience blissful orgasms? To release stress or tension? To experience human touch from another person? Once we know WHY we are relating, we can begin to understand HOW to relate with our partner(s). And we can communicate, effectively and clearly what we need. Our needs are important, not only for our pleasure but for us to be able to fully open up and be present with our partner(s) for their pleasure, also. We have heard the term sexual healing (and the song by Marvin Gaye). But many people don’t know the power of sex and how it CAN heal. Sex is sacred. It’s beautiful. But things like rape, incest, force, trafficking, coercion, have defiled parts of the beauty of engaging with another person. So many people don’t have control over their own bodies. We need to help them reclaim that. You matter. Sex is such an intimate act. The healing that can be experienced and shared is paramount. The world needs more of this and less of the vile, negative stuff. I feel it’s extremely important to talk with girls about safe touch-what is okay-self exploration or masturbation. And what is not acceptable-someone touching you without consent or forcing you into acts you do not want to do or even understand what is happening. We should have these talks with boys, too, but my blog is geared towards girls so I’ll stick with what I know.

I thought about how healing my massage was in helping me grieve the loss of my mother and my relationship. And I hurt for the populations of people who don’t receive touch. It is absolutely forbidden in jails and prisons to touch another being. Those are offenses  that could have an offender lose privileges or even be further secluded-solitary confinement, lockdown, etc. Imagine a world where inmates were taught massage therapy techniques and could utilize those techniques-under close supervision. That touch could heal someone who is angry, confused, suffering. The main argument against that will be “theyre in jail, not a spa....why should they receive massages.” My answer to that  is: the power of touch can be healing and can soften the most hardened person. Maybe crimes were committed because that person was never touched or felt loved. We have so many tools to heal, yet we have so many naysayers that would rather keep the energy negative. Consensual touch can help. Now, the massages  I speak of for the incarcerated or homeless populations are mere massages. Not yoni or lingham massages. Just another set of hands hoping to help heal whatever you have gone through or are going through.

Know your body. Explore your body. Engage with your partner without touching. Know what they want and know how to communicate what YOU want. Set boundaries, if need be. Take it slow....or fast. Be present with your experience. And don’t be afraid to voice your opinion, satisfaction or dissatisfaction. Your voice matters. May we all receive and reciprocate the healing we need.

-Nicole Rene


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